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This Mother’s Day the World Feels Different But the Balancing Act Remains 

click to enlarge ELISA JÄRNEFELT
  • Elisa Järnefelt

I became a mother three years ago, in early May. On my first Mother's Day, my daughter was just a few days old, but I had already begun to realize the odd balancing act that motherhood is for me.

That balancing act means that I trust the strength of my own child, even as I am achingly aware of her fragility. I trust my ability to take care of her, even as I simultaneously doubt those abilities. I allow myself to be afraid, without losing sight that, for this person, I am one of the foundations that she relies on. My mind is attuned to think about everything from the perspective of another person and, in the midst of that, I try not to lose sight of myself.

On this Mother's Day, on the seventh week of the "Stay Home, Stay Safe" order in Vermont, the weight of worry for the future feels heavy to carry. I realize that even though both my daughter and the world are quickly changing, my balancing act remains. In this moment, I do not ask myself to do anything more than that; I tell myself that I am enough.

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